Your life does not have to revolve around a romantic relationship

"But it's different because you're poly and I'm monogamous" - a friend at lunch (pre-quarantine).

I laughed. "You know, you can enjoy your alone time, sleep in your bed, do your routines, yadda yadda *and* enjoy having time with a partner."

It's wild how engrained this idea of having to spend all your time with your partner is. (This thinking exists in non-monogamy, too, though it seems to be more prevalent in monogamy because of the exclusivity clause.) I don't have anything against people who do genuinely enjoy being around their partners a lot. If it's a conscious choice and if both parties are richer together, that's great! 

But if it's an unspoken, unnegotiated given, if it's unbalanced, it becomes unhealthy and detrimental to everyone involved. And this happens all the time. Narratives that push romantic relationships as the focal point and driving purpose of life lead to people thinking they have to completely shift their entire lives to accommodate one another. Twitterpation/NRE adds fuel to this fire.

There’s a whole genre of jokes with the premise of how much couples actually hate hanging out with each other.

People don't have to settle for either extreme. If you like sleeping in your own bed, if you like your work and study routines, if you like your hours of solitude, you can have all that. And if you like someone and can accept their boundaries - and if they like you and accept your boundaries - you can have it all. Naturally, you both may have to play a little Tetris to reach compatible schedules and routines, but there's a beauty in that. You are creating a relationship you both want together. 

Communicate. Don't settle. Live your life the way you want it. And if someone wants to be a part of your journey and you want to be a part of theirs, then do it! No need to sacrifice and compromise your ideals, values, and hard limits.