Quiet, Mundane Moments in Polyamory

The quiet, mundane moments in polyamory are sorely underrated.

Yes, the big wide world of sluttiness is oodles of fun. Orgies are groovy. Sex clubs are grand. But there's something in the seemingly unremarkable moments that actually feel the most remarkable.

There was an instance a few years ago when I was lying in bed with a partner at his and his wife's house. Winding down after an evening of intimate debauchery, while staring up at the ceiling feeling calm and content, I began thinking about how his wife was just upstairs. She'd been watching TV and then headed to bed. We had all just had takeout dinner together earlier that evening. 

I smiled and remarked to my partner: the weirdest thing is just how... normal it all feels. Did Baby Michelle ever think to conceive of such a scenario? In all my wildest dreams, I didn't have the imagination to paint myself this picture, this idyllic series of unusual yet unassuming scenes I'd experience again and again on a nearly weekly basis on these scheduled date nights.

We were (and still are) creating a new normal all together. And it's so marvelous and beautiful, I'm tearing up as I'm writing this. 

Yeah, group sex is great, but have you ever lounged around on a Thursday evening with your head on a partner's lap, his wife also lounging on the couch nearby, and you're all discussing which Hogwarts house you'd be sorted into? (Fellow Ravenclaws, anyone?) 

Perhaps there really is a way to make Kitchen Table Polyamory not only temporarily functional but actually sustainable in the long term. Examples are so difficult to find, and the uncertainty and lack of a roadmap can make polyamory feel like riding on a train that has nowhere else to go but careening off a cliff sooner or later. But then these moments happen. And I have hope.

And to think I can create these sustainable, healthy bonds AND go out and participate in orgies on the weekends is just *chef's kiss* bellísima. That's having your cake and eating another one, too.