Relationship Anarchy
"Relationship anarchy is not about never committing to anything - it’s about designing your own commitments with the people around you, and freeing them from norms dictating that certain types of commitments are a requirement for love to be real, or that some commitments like raising children or moving in together have to be driven by certain kinds of feelings."
From "The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy" (2006) by Andie Nordgren
The manifesto is well worth a read for anyone in non-monogamous or otherwise unconventional relationship structures. Even monogamists can benefit from it.
RA looks different for everyone - that's part of the point - but the above quote is the core aspect of this philosophy and practice.
I've seen some conflation of solo polyamory and RA - while there can be some overlap, they are not the same thing. While solo polyams may not nest with partners or share finances, they can still prescribe to traditional beliefs regarding hierarchy and the relationship escalator, whereas these are antithetical to RA.
Labels can be useful and they can be limiting. It's always good to ask people what they mean when they use terms like these. There are *so* many ways to do non-monogamy. It takes time to learn what clicks with you the best.
Examples of what Relationship Anarchy looks like for me:
Not worried about labeling relationships ("Are we friends? Or boyfriend/girlfriend? Or just lovers? Or...)
Related to labels - not worried about the relationship escalator ("Ok, so we've been seeing each other for 6 months, what does that make us? And what do we have to do next? Meet the parents? Move in?" Etc.)
Marriage isn't important to me
(I'll emphasize this a thousand times: there is no one right way to do non-monogamy. Just don't be an asshole. This is what works for me but something entirely different may work for you.)
