What Can Solo Polyamory Look Like For Me?

Solo polyamory: non-monogamy not centered around a couple or conventional couple practices (e.g. living together, sharing finances, marriage).⠀

Solo polyam doesn't necessarily mean getting rid of all couple-centric practices and the relationship escalator, but it is a move away from relying on those practices as givens. This is why you'll see an overlap of solo polyams and relationship anarchists.⠀

Can't be overemphasized: there are so so many ways to do non-monogamy. While there are patterns, it can look a little different everywhere. When in doubt, simply ask a solo polyam what their style looks like.

A cross section of what solo polyam looks like for me:⠀

• Happily sleeping (and other things) in someone else's bed one night. Relieved to be in my own bed the next night, amongst my own things, free to listen to ASMR way past bedtime.⠀

• Sleeping in on Saturdays with a cat on my legs and another on my chest⠀

• Coming home after a raunchy date to quietly shed and flop into bed at 2AM w/o disturbing roomies⠀

• A week with one date on the calendar. Another week with five different dates⠀

• Bad mental health day, wishing I had immediate access to a partner to lie in my bed with. Have a night in with Riesling, YouTube, textual support from partners⠀

• Tuesday: flirting with new date. Wednesday: Grey's Anatomy binge with roomie. Thursday: dinner, Mel Brooks flick, snuggles with a partner⠀

• Traveling solo in another country for a week and a half⠀

• Monthly therapy. Sometimes I get in a good solid cry⠀

• Karaoke with fellow friends twice in a week. On work nights. No regrets (maybe some regrets)⠀

• Lazy night in with a noodle bowl and British comedic panel shows⠀

• Naked cuddles with two dear partner-friends (who are a couple)⠀

It's massaging the balance between quality relationships time and quality Me time. I require a lot of solitude, hours without social obligation or putting on a pleasant face, time to recharge. Solo polyam is the perfect non-monogamy style for me - at least for now. Who knows how it will continue to evolve!