Abolition, Relationships, Mariame Kaba
(partially taken from the Rad Pride: Beyond Compulsory Monogamy talk)
“Changing everything might sound daunting, but it also means there are many places to start, infinite opportunities to collaborate, and endless imaginative interventions and experiments to create. Let's begin our abolitionist journey not with the question 'What do we have now, and how can we make it better?' Instead, let's ask, 'What can we imagine for ourselves and the world?'"
- Mariame Kaba, We Do This 'Til We Free Us
What Does this Have to Do with Polyamory?
Abolition is about addressing harm and creating accountability without incarceration. It is a movement that isn't only about dismantling the prison system but also about building relationships and community.
Relationships do not exist in a vacuum, even when they are not explicitly political.
Non-monogamy - specifically, interrogating mononormativity - is ultimately about expanding the ways we approach and move through connections.
Kill the Cop in your Head
How can we approach and move through relationships with less scarcity thinking and fewer zero-sum practices?
How do different systems of oppression affect different partners based on intersections of identities? How does this affect how we/they can show up in relationships?
How can we set and enforce boundaries - protecting ourselves and those around us - without expecting perfection and for one size to fit all? And while acknowledging and preserving autonomy for all parties?
How can we create consequences with room for repair? (Even if that repair is not done through us specifically)
This post isn't made to answer all these questions. Rather, I hope it encourages more folks to think about their interpersonal lives in different ways so that we can connect with greater intention.
I'm also still a student of prison abolition and continue to reflect and find more ways to apply radical practices to my relationships.
I'd like to think the more minds we have on these issues, the faster we can find answers together.
Further Suggested Reading
We Do This 'Til We Free Us by Mariame Kaba
Are Prisons Obsolete by Angela Davis
Ruth Wilson Gilmore Makes the Case for Abolition - Intercepted Podcast
Terisa Siagatonu | @terisasiagatonu
Derecka Purnell | @dereckapurnell
(these are just some resources that I've found insightful - there are so many more out there!)
