How Did You Know Polyamory Was Still For You After a Breakup?

It became clear that all unresolvable issues with my ex were rooted in the dynamic itself that existed outside of the non-monogamous structure. If anything, polyamory was one of the only good things that came out of it.

Practicing polyamory has helped me feel more free, empowered, and authentic - bringing out more aspects of myself that I now cherish and that has allowed me to become a better partner to others.

When I found supportive partners, I marveled at the fact they truly wanted to see me live my best slutty life (and my best life in other ways). And while insecurities may crop up, we have no interest in holding one another back. We work to create safety and security in collaborative ways instead.

Their compersion helped me become aware of my capacity for compersion. The more I gain in each encounter and relationship, the more I'm able to give back to each relationship. While this feeling isn't exclusive to any one type of relationship structure, non-monogamy is where I know I can cultivate it best for and around myself.

The  more I read and heard people's experiences, the more I learned about the vast possibilities outside of mononormativity, the more I understood that my desires, needs, and potential would thrive best under polyamory. And the less appealing monogamous norms and structures became.

For some, non-monogamy is more a choice. For others, it is more of a relationship orientation. My orientation is polyamorous. And that's that.

As always, a reminder:

Compulsory monogamy is an issue, but non-monogamy and monogamy are both valid. Neither is morally superior or inherently more progressive overall. Different structures are better suited to different people. One size does not fit all.

If you realize that polyamory isn't for you, that's totally okay! You're not a failure. You're not automatically regressive. Discovering more about your authentic self and what your desires and boundaries are is always a victory.