I’m Solo Polyam In A Triad. Here’s How It Works.

It started at a friend's birthday party about 5 years ago. Maybe 6 years ago.

I didn't know anyone aside from my friend, but I heard a voice excitedly say off to the side: "Well, poly fixes everything!"

My ears pricked up and my eyes snapped over to a high-energy, short, dark, and handsome femme (C). Their partner (O) stood quietly next to them. I can't remember all the details of what happened between that moment and the end of the evening, when we added one another on Facebook, but that was the beginning of it.

This relationship, as it seems all my long-term relationships tend to develop, was achingly slow building. And it started purely as a friendship venture, no expectation for anything beyond that. Over the next several months, I became friends with both C and O and one day, to my pleasant surprise, O asked me out to dinner. Thus began that branch of the triad-to-be over delicious arepas. C was always more than happy to give us private time.

Gradually and organically, since we were all friends, these dates turned into the three of us hanging out over dinner, watching movies, going dancing. But we tread so gingerly because we knew how delicate these relationships could be, how easily they could implode. After a couple years, C and I finally progressed to kissing and whenever I'd come over, the three of us would eventually end the evening on C's king-sized mattress, naked and giggling and cuddling. (One time with the aid of little Ms. Molly, which spectacular *chef's kiss*.)

It wasn't until early this year that C and I explicitly started "dating," which still cracks us up. I had already been calling both of them partners for years. But only when it was explicitly uttered into existence over cheap sushi train was it officially official.

C and O came into my life as friends. They never pressured me. They never pressured each other. Communication was open and there was little to no jealousy. We were in abundance, not scarcity. Consent was always at the forefront of our interactions. The way we moved was clunky in the beginning, but there's so much trust and compersion and support and there's no fear that we'll lose what we have anymore.

I've had questions about how the triad portion of my polycule works for a while, so here's how it developed. Thanks for reading!