Decentering: What It Does and Doesn’t Mean
Decentering: Making something less of a priority to prioritize other things. Done to examine and expose hidden power structures.
There has been an uptick in the use of the word “decentering” — “decentering men,” particularly — and I’ve been seeing some confusion about it.
Here are examples of what decentering can look like.
EXAMPLE: DECENTERING MEN
DOES MEAN:
Finding/remembering what sparks joy and passion in your life
Nurturing an identity that does not revolve around what men want or think
Examining internal/external messaging around patriarchy, gender roles
DOESN'T MEAN:
Putting all your energy into hating men
Total abstinence from platonic, romantic, and sexual relationships with men
Buying into the gender binary and bioessentialism
EXAMPLE: DECENTERING ROMANCE
DOES MEAN:
Investing more in friends, family (blood or chosen), community, and yourself
Examining narratives around romance, arbitrary hierarchies of relationships
Learn how “romance” can show up outside of monogamy (eg. the romance of friendship)
DOESN'T MEAN:
Completely depriving yourself (and your loved ones) of romance
Become a jaded crusader against love
Join a monastery
DECENTERING: SUMMARY
In these examples, treat “Doesn’t Mean” as more of “Doesn’t Necessarily Mean...”
Your decentering of men absolutely can involve celibacy. Your decentering of romance can mean not pursuing romantic relationships for a while.
The key is that it is your choice. And ideally, your choices are buffed by introspection and align with intersectional values. Decentering does not exist in a political vacuum.
Happy reprioritizing! 🎉
Additional definitions:
Gender binary - the belief that there are only two genders: male and female
Bioessentialism - the belief that physical traits, abilities, and behaviors (like gender expression) are purely determined by biology, not external/environmental factors like culture, upbringing, economic conditions, etc.
