One common attack non-monogamous people get is: "You're only 'poly' because you're afraid of commitment."

This is largely untrue because more often than not, their definition of commitment requires exclusivity, when this is not necessary. But for some folks, like me, there is an element of truth in it.

As a non-monogamous advocate/educator/enthusiastic participant, whatever you'd like to call me, I don't believe in "converting" monogs into non-monogs. That doesn't interest me in the slightest. What I do and what most other non-monogamy accounts do is help more people realize that monogamy isn't the one right way to cultivate meaningful, fulfilling relationships. 

No rules, baby! There are some who come into non-monogamy believing they've rid themselves of the ol' ball and chain of monogamy and are now allowed to freely frolic through this wonderful Mad Max world of hedonism and no bedtimes.

Some of these folks will describe themselves as being "go with the flow" types. They're not interested in discussions about expectations. They may bristle at boundaries, viewing them as restrictions on their own freedom.

10 quick polyamory reminders and affirmations, no matter where you are in your non-monogamy journey.

Enter almost any polyamory community online or in real life and soon enough you'll encounter the couples dubbed as "unicorn hunters" and the people who vehemently decry them and claim that "couple privilege" is running amok.

In practicing solo polyamory, I made the choice to not nest with any partners… But I could not have predicted a pandemic.

A common misconception of polyamory is that all of its practitioners are like slutty Labrador puppies, insatiably hopping from partner to partner.

Believe it or not, having anxiety does not automatically make you unfit for non-monogamy. I hear this concern often from people just starting out, so here's my experience.

A "zero-sum" game: In order for someone to win, someone must lose. This type of thinking is based on a premise of scarcity. In order to get what we need or want, we must either claim the resources first or take them from someone else. The net gain is zero.

"Let us remember that feeling jealousy (or any other emotion) is not a crime. Only actions can be a crime. Feelings are feelings, and they're there whether you acknowledge them or not. But when you shove the feelings back into the pot, they may try devious routes to bring themselves to your attention..."

-The Ethical Slut, "Roadmaps Through Jealousy," Janet W. Hardy & Dossie Easton

It started at a friend's birthday party about 5 years ago. Maybe 6 years ago.

I didn't know anyone aside from my friend, but I heard a voice excitedly say off to the side: "Well, poly fixes everything!"

In high school, my nickname was "Soy Sauce."

Am I making excuses for toxic behavior or are those actually green flags?

Learning to identify and maneuver around red flags is crucial, but so is learning to spot green flags to let us know which relationships to keep.

“Oh monogamy? I could never do that. I love my partners too much to subject them to the arbitrary pressures of being everything to me…”

Solo polyamory: non-monogamy not centered around a couple or conventional couple practices (e.g. living together, sharing finances, marriage).⠀